Since the invention of the camera, we have always captured important moments. We have captured the moment of our kids’ first step. A funny moment. Their first walk. Their first bike ride. Birthday parties. Dance numbers. Hockey goals. We have and always will cherish these moments.They bring us a smile and create memories.
These moments used to be taken on camera and put in that photo album to be shared now and then. As technology advanced, we recorded these moments for future viewing. Now, we post these moments on the internet the moment they happen. We even record them live.
While it’s awesome we can post, the question is how is this creating and shaping an identity for our kids?
“My Partner Jo and I travelled across Alberta”, Joe Whitbread said, “One of the things we learned very quickly is that adults are making their kids popular, if not famous, among their peer groups.”
While these posts are well intentioned, Whitbread said it is teaching kids what we don’t want to teach them.
“Don’t talk to strangers. Unless they are your parents’ friend on Instagram. Most kids have to talk to strangers because we…parents, grandparents, dance teachers, coaches, hockey teams, have posted all about them.”
Don’t get Whitbread wrong. It’s not that he thinks we shouldn’t post online. If you read The Importance of Digital Branding Part One, you know that’s not the issue. However, there needs to be some very important conversations. Emphasis on the word conversations.
“What we need to do is have an open and honest conversation. The same way we do with drugs, teenage pregnancy, or drinking and driving. We have to talk about Tik Tok, direct messaging, the harm in sending or soliciting nudes. We need to talk about our personal brand and how we are perceived online.”
Whitbread suggests we have to acknowledge and deal with our own hypocrisy in this.
“It’s a fascinating irony that is unfair to kids. Their maturity level doesn’t allow them to discern what a good stranger is and a bad stranger is. It’s hypocritical that we are telling kids one thing and, on the other hand, we are saying it’s okay to give up their privacy. And it’s not.”
One of the major concerns is what and where something will be posted. Will that post cost my kid a job? Whitbread said, mistakes will happen.
“Kids will make mistakes. Unfortunately, history will not allow our young adults to exist unscathed on the internet. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands of celebrities, let alone the general public, whose mistakes online at a younger or an immature age that cost them later.”
And yes, the mistakes can, and already have, cost careers.
“There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of celebrities, and the general public, whose mistakes online have cost them. Some a little. Some a lot.”
Although mistakes will be made, Whitbread suggests kids aren’t making the biggest mistakes. Unfortunately, it’s us adults. And it goes back to what we are choosing to post of our kid online.
“The worst culprit of making our children celebrities? The adults that put them online since before they were born.”
The celebrifying of our children is leading to children getting mixed messages. And sending the opposite message of what we teach children.
“Kids at a very young age are forced into this dilemma. Strangers come up to them and know about their weekend. They know it’s their birthday, their talents and passions. Because they have seen parents post it online. This goes in direct conflict with what we teach kids. Don’t talk to strangers.”
The first consequence of this is that we have branded our children like we have branded products and services.
“Without stepping foot into a Subway or a Tim Horton’s, we know it’s brand. We know what’s on the menu, and what it looks like, because it’s been marketed to us.
What does that have to do with parenting? We know all about your kids even though we have never met them. We know about their talents and passions because you have broadcasted their life with photos. We know their skills, their passions, and how they did on their test, and when their birthday is.
“You have branded your children on social media. Whether it be as athletes, music lovers, talented, performers, or kind humans. “
The second consequence? Now these kids, we are posting and sharing about, are becoming adults.
“Now that kids are entering normal jobs or celebrity type roles like junior hockey, they have seen their private lives become public.”
This is why Whitbread feels strongly about these needed conversations that used to be only for the “famous.”
“We have to start teaching children what only celebrities have to learn. Public relations, community relations, how to properly, and professionally present your topic of discussion. Is it fair that children have to learn how to properly mince their words? Nope. But they have to because they are on Snapchat or Instagram. And what they say can and will be held against them for the rest of their lives.”
Who starts this conversation? Whitbread suggests it starts at home.
“This needs to be talked about at home. At the kitchen table, living room. Children have always learned from their parents. If parents and adults are using social media in a negative way like we are seeing, where do you think our kids are going to learn their behaviours online?”
Whitbread believes these conversions are not only healthy but will lead to kids having a positive impact. Not only in the public real-life sphere, but on social media.
“Kids who are raised in positive homes, who are taught at an early age about responsibility online, and good digital citizenship can learn there are so many opportunities if you promote yourself positively. Using it publicly, we are seeing young athletes get more scholarships, more opportunities, and ultimately more money when they broadcast on their own channel.”
The word branding is a social media buzzword. You can also find a lot of information online about branding. However, Whitbread used a term I haven’t heard. Good digital citizenship. What is it?
“A good digital citizen is someone who broadcasts good things,” Whitbread said, “Social media allows us to broadcast those things. Not once, not twice, but throughout. It creates a brand of you as a person. Yes, it’s performance on your channels, but if you are doing it consistently, it’s real. So take a picture, a selfie, a video.
Whitbread says the power of good digital citizenship is not about the “likes”. It’s opening up opportunities to find work and advance.
“The people that are doing this are getting the jobs first.”
Another fear is around the concept of self promotion. Whitbread suggests that the very word, self promotion, is perceived as negative or egotistical. Whitbread suggests we switch the mindset around this. It is not wrong, nor are you not a good person, if you self promote.
“We need to get past what we consider conceited or egotistical, which is how we consider posting a selfie on our own channel. Every day, we see humans on channels. We spend millions of dollars to value them. But their brands are marketed by someone else. If I take a picture of myself, I’m ‘self promoting’. As opposed to someone like Connor McDavid who gets promoted by the Oilers, NHL, and the brands that he represents. He is somehow better because he is promoted by someone else. I’m worse because I’m “self promoting”.
To move this to the specific hockey culture. There is the common saying that you play for the jersey on the front, not the name on the back. While Whitbread agrees with the value, it’s still important to allow those who standout will be recognized.
“Team sport first, logo on the front first. It’s a wonderful, traditional value, I agree with it. However, when superstars stand out, it’s been proven that they get more publicity than the next person.”
“That’s why we know of Amelia Earheart. Is it because she is egotistical? No! It was because she was a standout. We know who she is because society clamoured around someone doing something incredibly unique.”
There is no question there is important and honest learning from both adults and kids about the power of social media. The kids, especially in the junior hockey age, are stepping into adulthood. It is natural to be concerned about the things that could happen. However, Whitbread gives some advice to the adults.
“My advice is as adults reading this, let’s make sure we are starting to help kids understand that the opportunities of today’s digital world far outweigh the terrible things that can happen.”
